It’s
been a little while since last writing. Please forgive the length of
this entry (as usual!), these pieces are not written within the framework of blog marketing sales sound bites. I
went to a few of those workshops, and even tried some of the tips here
and there, but in the end it didn't resonate so I threw it all out. If you have the time and inclination, read on.
Last
week there was quite an experience. It wasn’t so much of a dramatic
experience on the outside, although some might see it as such, it was
much more about the inner experience and the insights which followed.
A
friend and I, a friend whom I am dating, for clarity’s sake, went out
for a hike and to spend some time at the river last week. There are
several different places to hike along the river, and several places to
enter it, and all of them attract the clothing optional crowd once you
get a bit past the initial point of entry. So, on this particular day,
we found a spot, put our blanket out, went for a great hike, then came
back and joined others in the water, sans clothes, who were also
swimming and sunbathing in the buff.
I
have to say, ‘au natural’ was not always a natural way of being for
me. Or, let me say it this way. The first time I went to a clothing
optional beach it was in France in 98 and it took just about everything
in me to move beyond the voices in my head. At that time in my life I
had recently experienced a huge spiritual breakthrough and was committed
to living in freedom rather than fear. Anything that brought up fear, I
was committed to breaking through, and going without clothes (in front
of other people on a beach for goodness sakes!) was one of the bigger
ones it turned out.
There were two surprises that first time. One was just how ruthless and cruel the inner voices
were in regards to nude sunbathing. “Slut, whore, who do you think you
are?” I felt my mother, grandmother, teachers, friends. And just
before the breakthrough, just about everyone on the planet! I felt
shame. Embarrassment. Humiliation. It was unbelievable as I witnessed
all of this mental baggage passing through the mind, and it took about a
half hour to work myself up to finally getting the clothes off.
Surprise
number two was how natural and easy and liberating it was on the other
side. I felt like I had been born in the wrong country or something.
It was so obvious this was the way the human form was meant to be in out
the sun. The flowers and trees and sand, everything is naked in the
sun. Covering up and hiding the body was an ego issue, a cultural
brainwashing, and a way to keep us all feeling ashamed about a part or dimension of ourselves. Not that it’s not practical at work or out and about in your day doing errands. No need to go overboard with it, or to jail. But for swimming and sunning, it felt to be a no brainer.
I
also remember that day, seeing other Americans in town ( it was during
the world cup and the US team was playing on the west coast of France
the next day), not knowing how to act around nude bodies. One guy sat on
the back wall of the beach looking through a camera with a high end telephoto
lens, can we say ‘inapproprate’ boys and girls? And the guy I was with
just stared and gaped until I brought it to his attention this could be
considered rude. I overheard threats of divorce from some married
women in our group to their husbands if they caught them down on the
beach.
Wow.
But
what can we expect when one lives in a society which has been
manipulated through advertising and other means to equate the naked
human body with lust and sex only? And to then react that way?
With
the arts, and the heart, just about out of the picture in many
institutions, there is no room for the body as just the body. As an
expression of individual form. As a work of art in itself. The
manipulative use of body in suggestive advertising, and messages of
sinful human natures and flesh, create repressed, immature, scared, ashamed beings-- living
in separation from Life-- which is great for the business of
psychoanalysis and pharmaceuticals, great for institutions and groups
claiming to hold the ultimate truth of what a sin is, and providing
protection and promise of heaven if you follow the rules-- but maybe not so great for psychological health and balance, and the ability to live in the New Heaven, New Earth. In New Heaven New Earth we are not born of sin, cowering and hiding and shamed, we are not cast out of the garden, we are God in the flesh. Literally in some cases. More on this in a bit.
My
friend and I got out of the river, and were laying out in the sun,
having a really good conversation when all of the sudden a young man and
woman walked up to where we were laying out, identified themselves as
camp leaders and asked if we would please move since they had a group of
kids with them and didn’t want to expose them to ‘nudists’, or to those
who practice this ‘lifestyle’, or, I can’t remember how else it was
termed.
I remember thinking, wow, I didn’t know I was a nudist-- I had never
gotten that far with it. It was initially an experiment to overcome
fear, and then a feeling of internal rightness;
organic and natural. I had never considered it had to be an identity.
No wonder people don’t like to think or get out of the box too much.
Not only can it be uncomfortable, but you are granted new identities, and all that come with those projections.
If
the camp group had gotten there a half hour or so before they would
have been met with several ‘nudists’, including two girls about eight
years old. As it was, we were the only ones around at the moment. My
companion, not the average bear to say the least, asked why they
couldn’t go a bit further up the river.
The response was, there were more like us that way.
He then asked if it was fair that we were the ones who had to move.
At this point they explained this was the place they always came and they were familiar with the spot.
Then my friend had a brilliant solution. (we're really liking this one;).
Let’s flip for it, he said. If it’s heads we go, tails we stay. We’ll leave it up to the universe.
“Leave
it up to the universe”, the young woman repeated slowly as if she was
trying to fully take in and figure out just what was happening.
And, wouldn’t you know, it was tails.
I
found it fascinating as to what was going on inside of me as all of
this was playing out. In the past I would have been overwhelmingly self
conscious talking to people, standing over me, about ten or fifteen
feet away, fully clothed while my bare white hiney was saluting the blue
sky. I would probably have been consumed with the guilt of keeping the
children from ‘their’ river, and I might have asked my companion to be ‘reasonable’, or ‘nice’, and to just pack it up. I started to realize that I couldn’t have handled someone like this in my life before. Someone way too much like me in many ways. Eghads, who wants that kind of a mirror hanging around? Where is the control switch?
On
this day it was fascinating to see the reactions of the different
people. The young woman started to really reflect on if it was in fact
fair to ask us to leave, and even defended us when another adult
standing with the children started to get triggered and a bit vocal in
his opinion of the situation, and of us. The young man didn’t seem to
have a whole lot to say after the coin was flipped. Maybe a few
switches were being flipped within him.
We ended up staying about fifteen minutes, maybe twenty, enough for the energy to shift and for everyone present to have some nice inner inquiry time.
About half way through a man walked near us to the side, then climbed up the rocks to the trail above, wearing
only a backpack, just to accentuate the point this was not a ‘family
area’, as some areas at the river certainly are. They never had much of
a case, really, but it can be so tempting to jump up and cover up as
soon as the old paradigm and expectations impinge upon us.
The whole incident caused me to reflect, at this time, where in my life
am I living from expectations of others rather than being true to
myself? What are my truest values and are there any ways they are being
compromised because of fear of the judgment or reaction of others?
What lines have been drawn in the proverbial sand by outer influences
that need to be crossed in service to my deeper purpose and reason for being on the planet at this time, and by extension to the One of Us?
A week later I am still sitting with these questions and things are percolating. In the garden of Eden it was Paradise until self consciousness- ego- a consciousness of separation from God - came into the picture and caused shame, embarrassment and ego consciousness. Are
there any parts of yourself that you have been taught to be ashamed
of? And, if so, how to change that program in a meaningful and
respectful way- embarking even further on a sincere exploration of what it means to be true to oneself? And by extension, to live in the New Heaven New Earth Paradigm.
And then another tangent emerged. It started coming to ask, again, what does that even mean: to live in the New Heaven New Earth? In this question I was taken to a Bible quote, Matthew 5:18 "Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled"
Hm, what the heck does that mean? The phrase, ' till heaven and earth pass ' -- that one jumped out. Till heaven AND earth pass. In Reality there is no Heaven AND Earth. There is no spirit AND form, there is no separation. There is only One. And until this state of separation which exists in the mind, passes, we are subject to live out the experience of the law, of cause and effect, be subject to the law of karma, rather than in the fulfillment of Grace. Until
we experientially know, until we wake up from the illusion of
separation and see there is no separation between Heaven and Earth, that
there is truly only One, manifest throughout creation, and
we still imagine another power outside of this, we will be subject to
law rather than Grace.
At least, that's what I got.
"Have I not told you, ye are God". This was always, to me, one of the most fascinating statements in that old book.
According to this One we are God in the Flesh, and nothing less.
So it stands to reason that with Earth as the New Heaven, you don't have to judge, label as sinful, give up or transcend your human nature to enter into a state of divinity. Can we take a look around and see what a mess that creates on the planet? In fact, you have to fully embrace and embody all aspects and dimensions of Self, i.e. Life. Even the so called mess, to see that, truly, there isn't actually one. What if, in these times, your job is not to transcend the flesh, but to totally and completely take on being God in the flesh. Goddess in the Flesh- Universal Intelligence fully expressing in Form- however it speaks to you.
And, even beyond that, God As Flesh. Goddess As Flesh.
Or, just God/dess.
Or, just Flesh.
Whatever
you want to name It, It doesn't care. Really. You don't have to know
it as a particular name. You can call It anything you want when you
truly know It. Even It.
So in conclusion here, while any mind is free to project whatever label it wants onto me, nudist just doesn't do it.
Not big enough, juicy enough, true enough.
I think we'll go for God/dess in the flesh. That one we can Live with. Truly.
Hope you all can too ;)
And, knowing you are having a wonderful summer!!
Here’s to disrobing and uncovering the Sacred, the Beautiful, the Real and True,
however that manifests authentically as You, in service to New and True Earth Living!
In the Flesh,
Jaia
